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Home > Tempo

Speed Dating: on Your Mark, Get Set, Go!

By Robby Balogh

Published: Thursday, October 9, 2003

I had seen an advertisement or two on speed dating, but based onthe stereotypes of online services, it could only manifest into aJeffrey Dahmer-esque orgy, full of the most deranged, depressed anddesperate people San Diego has to offer.

Yet, I was curious. Who would really want to go speed dating?

Well, I got the chance to find out last Tuesday when my friend andeditor "suggested" I go see what speed dating is all about. Withlittle time to "decide," I figured I could go check it out and atleast have a good time teasing these people with Ho-Ho's, self-helpbooks and herpes ointment.

The session I went to was put on by a company called Pre-Dating.Tammy, the event coordinator, had chosen to hold the event at AxisMartini, a small, private bar just west of the Del Mar Racetrack.

As I walked down the small flight of stairs into the intimatepatio at Axis I was met by three well-dressed, gorgeous women, eachwith a unique personality that I could immediately sense.

Natural intuition is what Pre-Dating is all about, and as I wenthopping from one woman to the next, I discovered that despite beingold enough to be my mom, they were not the refugee carnies I hadexpected them to be. Many of them were well-to-do professionalsworking for some of the most prestigious businesses in San Diego. Afew were also single parents who didn't have the time in their busyschedule to hang out at bars all night.

They all just wanted to try something different.

Even though I went to the event with no pre-conceived biases, Ifound myself analyzing what I valued in women and my own strengthsand weaknesses when making a first impression. Mostly, the six-minutecouples talked about their hobbies and tried to find things thatwould connect them in their free time. Some people were more seriousand asked questions about commitment and honesty. Others were like meand asked people how many STDs they were carrying and if they werejust here looking for a good lay.

For many people it was their first experience with Pre-Dating.They had received referrals from friends or co-workers, and somedragged their friends with them. One woman signed up to do it with afriend but when she arrived at Axis realized her friend had backedout.

Some participants had experience with Internet dating, but weredisappointed when they met the person face-to-face or had to sitthrough an agonizing dinner. Pre-Dating minimizes the disappointmentand agony by placing participants face-to-face in a low-risk,time-controlled situation.

Those people who had done Pre-Dating before seemed satisfied withtheir previous results and returned to try their luck again.

"Some people call us players," Tammy said, "but a player is whenyou date someone and make them think your relationship with them isexclusive, when it is not. Everyone involved is aware that you mightend up going out on at least one date with multiple people you meetfrom a night of Pre-Dating. It's really more like shopping."

A drop-dead gorgeous mother of three had met several men throughTammy's company, but, she admitted, has not given up her search. Agood-looking guy who wouldn't tell me his age might have beenPre-Dating's star shopper. He has participated with Tammy's companyand a variety of others. He said Tammy's Pre-Dating was thebest-organized service and had met more quality individuals at herevents than at any other he had attended.

So are you interested in Pre-Dating? Here are the rules: There are24 people comprised of equal numbers men and women. First, eachparticipant is armed with a Pre-Dating Match Sheet and a name tagdisplaying his or her name and an assigned number. Then, each persongets one six-minute interview with each member of the opposite sex.During the interview, you can jot down notes about the person you aremeeting to help you remember who you have selected. There are fourpossible selections you can make for each person you meet. If youfelt the six minutes was not long enough and you would like tocontinue your conversation, then circle "Let's talk again" next tohis or her name and number on your match sheet. If you felt like youshared business interests with the person you can circle "Let's talkbusiness," and you can circle both categories if you want to increaseyour chance to talk with that person again. There is also the fourthoption - to leave the paper blank which is considered a "no" -meaning you don't want to talk with that person ever again.

When time is up, Tammy rings a bell and all the men get up andmove to the next woman. At the end of the night, the Pre-Dating MatchSheets are collected and only the people who marked mutual answers inthe same category have their contact information exchanged viae-mail.

Because many people speed date more than once, the eventco-ordinator arranges it to incorporate new people into each session,so you won't have to keep leaving the Match Sheet blank. Age is alsonot a problem - each night there are two sessions divided by the agegroups of 35-43 year-olds and 26-35 year-olds, ensuring that yourparents' friends are never in the mix.

All joking aside, speed dating isn't the laughable train wreckthat I expected it to be. Instead, it is a fun, fast-pacedopportunity to meet people you may want to call back. I, for one,have my fingers crossed for that hot little mother of three.

For more information on speed dating, visit www.pre-dating.com.

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