Pre-dating: A test drive for romance

If you don't want to meet someone in a bar and work too much to join a social group, a new dating trend might be perfect for you - "pre-dating." Known as speed dating when it began in Miami, it's huge in L.A., Chicago and now, Orlando.

One thing is for sure -- you usually don't meet Mr. or Ms. Right until you've kissed a few frogs. So you've tried bars, dating services, blind dates, and maybe you've taken our advice and started up conversations in everyday places. All of that takes time. Sure, pre-dating has been spoofed on TV shows like Sex and the City, but it might be right up your alley. Hildi bravely gave it a shot.

The event I attended (their second) was at Tanqueray's, in downtown Orlando. About half the participants held cocktails as they looked over their "match sheets" and waited to start. Blank lines are meant to be filled later with each person's badge number, and a "yes" or "no" as to whether or not you want to get to know them better. (Jot down names and details on a separate page so you don't forget who's who!)

My friend Meredith said she'd try this fast-food approach to dating. But only if the event came with a remote control -- so she could pause to go to the bathroom or think of something witty to say, and fast-forward through total duds. "Does 'speed' refer to expediting the whole dating process and skipping right to lousy sex and arguments about values and financial choices?" she asked. "Well, who wouldn't be totally up for that?" She was kidding. I think.

Before it started, each guy was ushered to his first table, where a woman was already seated. Then coordinators finished up last-minute details. Three different men asked if that minute-and-a-half counted toward the pending timed conversation. Everyone was mighty nervous. But it got much easier after the first conversation. Comfortable, even.

And you only have to talk for about seven minutes with each person. But seven minutes 10 times in a row? What in the world did you find out in such a blast chat?

Put it this way, Stephanie. Almost every conversation contained the phrase "work too much." It was like a workaholics anonymous meeting for singles. I fit right in.

The best thing is that when you join a $20 event, you're picking the group. Events are organized for specific age, ethnicity, religious and interest preferences, such as single parents, marriage-minded singles and athletic singles. Check it out at www.pre-dating.com/orlando.

I've told lots of men and women about this concept since I tried it and everyone has been curious and interested. It's a great idea. There is little pressure because you don't have to worry if the guy is going to ask for your number when you know you plan to turn him down or over-flirt, then be rejected. You make choices confidentially and get results in the privacy of your home. .

For those of you who think this feeds into our already too-fast-paced culture, remember, you're not on a date you're on a pre-date -- a date to see if you want a full date. The courtship comes later. In five minutes most people can tell if there's physical chemistry, and if they want to know more. So, Hildi, c'mon, dish!

I knew Stephanie would make me go public. The men were pretty attractive and intelligent overall. I "yes-ed" four of eight and matched with three. They each e-mailed the next day to make plans or talk more. I'm pretty good at working a room but three dates in an hour and a half? I can't think of many other places you can make that happen.

You can reach Stephanie Erickson at 1-800-788-5033 or serickson@orlandosentinel.com. You can reach Hildi Brooks at 407-650-6397 or hbrooks@orlandosentinel.com.